This Is 60: I’m Not Aging, I’m Evolving — by Carolyn Gray

Carolyn Gray, founder of That Golden Girl Life, shares what turning 60 taught her about wellness, healthy aging, Black hair care, faith, and intentional living in midlife and beyond. This article is based on her YouTube reflection, “This Is 60: I’m Not Aging. I’m Evolving.”

Aging Is Not Decline. It Is Evolution

So many women dread milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond. That is often the case because we are led to believe that each number represents some kind of decline. However, I recently heard Kelly Rowland say something that resonated deeply with me. She said she doesn’t think of birthdays as aging. She thinks of them as evolving. That word fits perfectly. When you take care of the body and life God has given you, milestone birthdays can represent growth rather than loss. At 60, I feel like I’ve evolved.

At 60, Some Things Are Actually Better

One of the biggest surprises for me is that I am slimmer entering my 60s than when I entered my 20s. That may not be the norm, but it is possible. Over the years I developed habits that helped me maintain my health and weight: intermittent fasting, consistent exercise, drinking water, and adapting my workouts when my knee required it. After a meniscectomy, my surgeon saw wear and tear, as well as arthritis in my knee and advised me to stop running. Although I can’t run like I used to, I have found safer, yet effective, forms of cardio: the recumbent bike, walking on the treadmill, and Pilates. It’s not about perfection. Consistency is the key.

My Hair Is Longer Than It’s Ever Been

Another surprising change from my 20s to my 60s is my hair. It is longer now than it was when I was in my 20s, even longer than when I was a child. Over the years I’ve shared my hair care journey on YouTube as I transitioned from relaxed to natural hair. These videos chronicled the good, the bad, and the ugly as well as the aloe treatment that helped my hair grow longer than it has ever been before, now at 60. My philosophy is simple: take care of your hair regardless of the style or texture you choose. Healthy hair is my primary goal. The lessons and insight I have learned from this thirty-plus year journey will be included in a new edition of my book, The Black Woman’s Guide to Beautiful, Healthier Hair, the 2026 edition. Stay tuned.

Learning to Work With What You Have

One of the biggest lessons that comes with age is learning to appreciate what you have instead of
constantly trying to change it. Someone once tried to insult me online by saying I was flat chested. I
laughed because I actually like the way my body looks. When you reach this stage of life you realize
something important: you get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit. Instead of chasing trends or
surgery, I focus on strengthening what I already have with Pilates, push-ups, and resistance training.

Your Latter Years Can Be Your Best Years

The Bible talks about how your latter years can be greater than your former years. That message resonates with me more now than it ever did when I was younger. At this stage of life, the kids are grown, the house is quieter, and you’re entering a new season. Some people talk about retirement as if life is winding down. I don’t see it that way. I see it as the beginning of a brand new chapter. So, now I’m asking myself a different question: How does God want me to use this next chapter of my life? How can I be a blessing to others?

Taking Care of Yourself Matters More Now

Part of evolving is learning how to care for yourself properly. Self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity. That includes drinking water, eating leafy greens, taking supplements, exercising consistently, using sunscreen, and getting regular exams. For me, spending time in prayer and devotion is a non-negotiable as it keeps me centered and same. However, even as we do all of these good things, the small cares and realities of life often creep in: Sometimes there’s a little arthritis, which I have found a little heat and Aleve can help. Or sometimes your feet might talk back, so I had to swap pointy heels for combat boots. However, this isn’t decline. It simply means, it’s time for us to adapt to whatever life throws our way. But we will keep moving forward.

Go Where You’re Celebrated

Another lesson that comes with age is learning not to take everything personally and realizing that everyone is not going to like you. And that’s okay. Also, not everyone who started the journey with you will remain on it with you. As long as you love yourself, focus on the people who love you, and keep your eyes on the prize, that’s all that matters. So stay on your divinely-appointed course and surround yourself with only people who have shown that they are truly for you: the people who root for you, encourage you, and support you. Protect your peace from all those who don’t, and be sure to go where you are celebrated instead of simply tolerated.

Celebrating 60

When I dreamt of how I would celebrate my 60th, I initially thought I might celebrate by riding along the French Riviera as I visited Monaco or skiing the Swiss Alps in Switzerland. However, after seeing how long it took to heal from just having a torn meniscus trimmed and then hearing one of my physical therapists, a seasoned skier, talk about a skiing injury that took her nearly a year to heal from, I said no thank you. I had never broken any bones, and I didn’t plan to start now. So I ruled out Europe and the cold and decided to go somewhere familiar, safe, and warm. TEXAS! Because my son lives there, and it is home to some of the world’s best barbeque, as well as my favorite hotel ever, I’m so glad I did. The goal of a 60th birthday isn’t just a celebration. It is having the wisdom to protect the body that will carry you into the years ahead, taking time to reflect on how you have lived and how you want to live, as well as making beautiful memories that will last forever.

The Real Gift of Turning 60

Turning 60 isn’t something to dread. It is something to be honored and grateful for, especially when you view the years as opportunities to evolve and not just age. That means living life well and beautifully — what I refer to as That Golden Girl Life. Many people we knew or loved never got the chance to reach 60. Life is a precious gift, and we only get one to live. This realization should change how we approach each day. We should start actively asking ourselves: What gifts do I still have inside me that need to be stirred up and used? What impact can I make? Who can I help? For me, during this season I will use my gifts to share more of what I’ve learned about caring for the body, mind and spirit, maintaining a healthy weight, and living intentionally living for midlife and beyond. In other words, I will continue to live That Golden Girl Life. And if I can do it at 60, you can do it at 50, 40, or even 30. Every stage of life holds something beautiful. You just have to be willing to evolve.